What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
