my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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