Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
