I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
