To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
