That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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