She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
