there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize