Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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