yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
