Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
