i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
