My girlfriend figured out who you are.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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