This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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