where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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