rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
