There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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