you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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