I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
