I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
