My friends, they love my intelligence
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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