I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
