he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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