My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
