apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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