His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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