What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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