i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize