My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I smell like Dick and happiness
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