idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
