another moral hangover. fuck.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
