Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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