In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
