Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
