O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
