Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
