Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This toilet bowl is my home.
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