My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
