Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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