you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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