He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize