i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize