she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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