so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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