I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize