i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
