I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
sarcasm needs its own font
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
