I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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