What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
