she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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