Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
