help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
