So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
