if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
a search helicopter?!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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