I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
