too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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