when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
