dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
