I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
