This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
