It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
