Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
