How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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