What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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