You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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