Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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