Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
