nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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