So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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