Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
