We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
