If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
