It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
