yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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