yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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