So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
