I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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